Chrysler Cirrus!

This is a the story of my car, but it is also a love story.

I take you now back to the summer of 2005. Young Emily is a sophomore at the University of Toledo and is working at her first mechanical engineering internship at an automotive insulation manufacturing plant.

The sun beats down mercilessly as Emily climbed into the Chevy Lumina. Bright cherry red. 1991. Bought off one of her boyfriend's old friend at a reasonable price several months prior. This was the second year in a row that her income tax returns went to buying another old car. (The story of the Mazdmacrapmobile was still fresh in her mind, but that's a story for another time) Shortly thereafter, the exhaust would split open completely, causing the car to roar frightfully at each ignition. It was perfect for scaring small children.

Unforgiving Toledo winters and a neverending cycle of rain and salt and grime had let a spattering of rust claim the car's body, frame and undercarraige. It was expected that any time work needed to be done on the car, it was because rust had choked out and shattered some vital component.

Today, the front windows didn't want to work. The odomoter didn't want to work. The speedometer didn't want to work. Emily flipped the switch for the rear windows. Success. Time to hit traffic. Three miles past the manufacturing plant, she ran over a set of railroad tracks.

CLUNK!

Smoke began pouring from under the hood. Cussing. Emily pulled over to the side of the road and grabbed her cell phone. "Well, it finally happened. It's dead," she spoke into the reciever.

It really was dead this time. With a week of pay and borrowed money, she headed to the car dealerships. Briefly tempted by a brand sparkling new Mitsubishi Eclipse, Emily thought she'd go for a more practical car and headed to the local BAD CREDIT? No CREDIT? NO PROBLEM?! lot where the nice folks at J. D. Byrider promised her she'd drive home with a shiny pretty car that very same day.

It was pretty shiny. It was white with a black leather interior. It even SMELLED shiny. Her engineering senses perked up at the ergonomic flourishes. Every button, gear, switch all within a flick of her fingertips. She test drove it, steering it over the bumps and ruts in the road. There was no violent rocking or clanking; this car floated.

Gave them the money, signed papers. They put it all on film in a little room in the back of the building.

For one whole month, Emily and her car floated along the highways to and from the manufacturing plant, to and from downtown, to and from college, to and from parties. At night, the seats were a cold shock, and by day, they burned with fire of a thousand suns... but that car sure could float over those bumps.

The next week, some mysterious anonymous miscreant tried to pry open the hood and smacked the front of the hood with what must have been a crowbar. It was sad and frustrating on such a shiny pretty new car, but not worth the cost of repairing.

One night a month later, she shared beers with her boyfriend at one of their friends' apartments downtown. When it was time to leave, boyfriend begrudgingly agreed to take the keys. Emily drowsily curled up in the passenger's seat. The cold seats felt comforting. As they pulled out of the parking garage, they were met with what appeared to be a wall of water. The rain was so thick, it was as if being underwater. No matter, they drove on and reached the highway.

Traffic was sparse, but the puddles were plenty. "If I drive fast enough, I can get through this one," boyfriend announced as he approached what will heretofore be referred to as Lake Toledo.

The engine revved, the car sprung forward and a tremendous and muddy tsunami-like splash enveloped them. Suddenly and silently, the car glided to a stop. It just floated.

They got out of the car, the water up to their knees. Emily walked around to the drivers side, and boyfriend pushed the car as she steered out of Lake Toledo. She turned the key in the ingnition. Click. Again. Click. They both sat in the car in silent frustration, the only sound the merciless roar of pouring ran.

"Hydrolocked," said the man at the repair shop. She'd paid for the extra warranty. J. D. Byrider charged her $20 to replace the whole engine. With an increased vocabulary and a fear of puddles, Emily and Chrysler were reunited one month later and were ready to engage in a long string of adventures.

Road Trips! Cincinnati, Ohio. Madison, Wisconsin. Chicago, Illionois. Killington, Vermont. Orlando, Florida. Some locations several times.

Emily moved from the suburbs to a big house close to the university with her fraternity brothers. The morning of Martin Luther King Day 2006, Emily woke up at 5am to get into work at her internship early. She'd left her purse downstairs, and when she went to retrieve it, found it spilled open on the floor. All the computers were missing. The house had been robbed while they slept upstairs.

The police arrived and had them make a list of everything that was lost.

"Did they steal any of your keys?" the officer asked.
"Let me check."

The keys were gone. Emily looked outside and finally noticed her parking spot was empty. The robbers had apparently made off with the car as well. She dropped to her knees dramatically.

"NOOOO!"

Then there was the elation. No more car payments if the car is never returned! No more 22% APR we-screw-you-in-the-you-know-what loan!

It turned up seven days later. Toledo's finest had the car impounded before Emily could retrieve it from the street. Of course, the CD player was stolen. That was to be expected. Even though the robbers had had the keys, they still felt it necessary to bust out the front driver's side window. Against the cold black leather seats, the broken glass looked like handfuls of sparkling grains of rice. That wasn't the fun part.

In a bout of cruel irony, the police had parked the car in the impound lot in a puddle of water which was knee deep. Just like Lake Toledo. Emily didn't want her Chrysler to float again. They pushed it out of Lake Toledo, icy January water and mud seeping into tennis shoes. Feeling even more violated, she paid the nice Toledo police $150 to get her stolen car back from impound. The robbers probably only got $30 for the stolen stereo. The bill for fixing the damaged window and door topped $500, and Emily fought with her insurance company for months to get the repair done.

She got her insurance agent fired, but she'll never get insurance from Unitrin ever again.

For years later, Emily would vacuum little glass grains of rice from inside the Chrysler. They're still there, tucked in the seats and cracks of all of the doors. In three separate Toledo locations, the Chrysler would be broken into once more. One of these times, her TI-89 calculator was stolen (engineering nerdery ++) but the other times all the thieves made out with was spare change.

Three times there were attempts to pop her locks, but only once were they successful in more than just damaging the door. That time, Emily just gave up and left the popped lock to rust and fester. For less money, she bought a car alarm with a combination of remote key entry and remote start. There were no break-in attempts since.

The good times returned. More road trips. Cincinnati, Ohio. Madison, Wisconsin. Chicago, Illionois. Killington, Vermont. Orlando, Florida. Some locations several times.

One day, the air conditioner caught on fire. Emily lived without it for over a year, until eventually it was college graduation time and she decided to move to California.

She looked at other cars but couldn't bear the thought of abandoning Chrysler (and of having car payments again). Emily had the air conditioning fixed and prepped the car for the 4-day, 3,000 mile journey from Toledo to the Silicon Valley(with looping down through Amarillo, Roswell, the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas of course).

Finally, they arrived. In the bay area of California, there were new sights to see: San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, Santa Cruz, Berkeley. Unfortunately for poor Chrysler Cirrus, it will not live to see more.

My baby is dying.

She's leaking transmission fluid and oil heavily. Her Ohio origin shocks and bewilders the mechanics here. How is the underside so rusty? When people here are in the snow, they hose off their cars afterwards in fear of The Rust.

There wasn't much point to hosing off your undercarriage if one is constantly needing to park one's vehicle in a pile of slushy, salty snow-grime. That's Toledo! That's the midwest!

She was a good car for Ohio, and a great car to get me through innumerable adventures throughout my college career. She's in her last few days now before I sadly trade her in (because rust scares Californians - nobody would buy this car) for a newer, shinier, prettier car.

I think I will get a convertible. Chrysler will understand. It's the Californian thing to do.

The Aftermath of California's Prop 8

I'm really struggling with the response to the passage of California's Prop 8. I'm a big supporter of same-sex marriage. If the state wants to call it something different than "marriage," that's fine, as long as it carries the same legal benefits and definitions... I think it's all very silly, for lack of a better word.

While the result for Prop 8 hasn't been "officially" declared (won't be until Dec 9th) it's currently passing by around half a million votes. I don't imagine that that gap is going to be bridged.

There are myriad theories being thrown around as to why, in California, the "Left Coast," could such a measure have passed?
1. The text of the law was confusing. People thought a "Yes" vote was a vote in FAVOR of Same-Sex marriage.
2. Minority voters, the vast majority of whom were Barack Obama supporters, are by vast majority against same-sex marriage.
3. The Mormon LDS Church out of Utah organized a massive effort to pass Prop 8 in California.

Theory #1:
From my personal standpoint, the text of this law was made very clear. In California, they do a fantastic job at (attempting) to educate voters. Every registered voter gets sent a big packet in which the full text and approximate cost to taxpayers of each proposition is detailed. Additionally, an analysis by supporters on each side of the issue is provided. The ballot measure of Prop 8 clearly read, "Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry." Below that, if that wasn't clear enough, were the words: "A yes vote on this measure is a vote to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry."
When I went for early voting, there was a 2.5-hr wait. Somebody had been thoughtful enough to lay out additional voter information guides, and I had plenty of time to read up on issues on which I was still rough.
Now, if somebody had moved and didn't update their address and if they didn't watch television or read the newspaper for the last six months, I could see them being confused by a potential campaign of misinformation. It's possible. However, if you look at the map of California counties and how they voted, there is a very clear pattern in the image to the left - the red counties (who voted No) are primarily on both the coast and bordering Reno, Nevada, and the green counties (who voted Yes) are in the more rural, mountainous and desert regions.

Theory #2:
The image beside this paragraph is CNN's map of votes for president in the 2008 election. Barack Obama passed by a large margin in the state, and some people were hoping that this meant that Prop 8 would fail by a large margin as well. There is a large problem with that hope, however. Barack Obama does NOT support gay marriage; he supports civil unions and is against a federal definition of marriage.
From CNN:

Barack Obama Opposes same-sex marriage, but also opposes a constitutional ban. Says he would repeal the Defense of Marriage Act and voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment. As stated on the Obama campaign Web site, he supports full civil unions that "give same-sex couples equal legal rights and privileges as married couples, including the right to assist their loved ones in times of emergency as well as equal health insurance, employment benefits, and property and adoption rights."

California already has domestic partnerships. Perhaps the majority of Obama supporters believed that DPs are "enough."
To my confusion, shortly before the election, Obama shifted his position on same-sex marriage and asked California voters to vote NO on Prop 8. Did he mean a state constitutional ban or a federal constitutional ban, or is he just trying to have his cake and eat it too?
Side note: What good is a cake you can't eat?
I've heard a few of my colleagues mention that (some) minorities see Prop 8 as an issue for "rich white folks." The stereotype is a gay white man with disposable income, who has to worry about passing on health insurance, life insurance and inheritance. The theory goes that a lot of minorities don't have these luxuries to pass on, so they do not sympathize with this person. There isn't much to back up that theory, however, as, just from a quick look, the most diverse areas of the state were the ones with the least support for Prop 8.

Theory #3
According to some sources members of the Mormon LDS church (both inside and outside of California) contributed $20million to the "Yes on Prop 8" campaign. With over $70million (Whoa!) being "thrown" at this issue on either side, that's a pretty hefty chunk. Some, because of this effort, want to challenge the tax exempt status of the Mormon Church. Far be it for me to further interpret the law, but I imagine that a congregation willing to part with over $20million of life savings, college funds, etc., is not going to be stopped by having to pay taxes. Furthermore, this effort will only further alienate the LDS from the LGBTQ community, if that is even possible.

There is a lot of hurt and anger right now from many on the "No on Prop 8" side. Some fight back with litigation against the constitutionality of the proposition (again). Some fight back with questioning the tax exempt status of the Mormon Church. Some fight back with threatening to stop paying state taxes (i.e., Melissa Etheridge).

A very moving editorial was passed on to me that I'd like to share.

Even outside of Prop 8, I think we should all be careful not to propagate bigotry and hate with more bigotry and hate. After all, this is an issue about love.

Business Tripping

I had the opportunity to visit the Phoenix area one week for training, and then come back for a work group face-to-face the next week and so got a little taste of what it's like to travel a lot. I still don't mind it, but I'm happy to be able to "relax" a little at home. For one thing, I *always* forget something important at home.

Highlights of the trip were a visit at the Pueblo Grande Museum and a hike on Camelback Mountain (which is actually closer to Paradise City, aptly named).

Pueblo Grande Museum had only a $5 admission. The centerpiece was the Hohokam Platform Mound, which the museum has attempted to preserve. They also had replicas of adobe houses and a desert garden all along a 2/3 mile trail.

On Camelback Mountain, I took the easy Bobby's Rock Trail, mostly because the trails were really not well-marked and it was really difficult getting back down the mountain in my tennis shoes. I am not a seasoned hiker.

Below is a slideshow of my pictures:

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In McCainland for Election Day - OR IS IT?

I was in Chandler, Arizona for business last week, and again this week and was bothered by the highway signs. On closer, inspection, I made a harrowing discovery.

Your favorite engineer-in-training has discovered what may be the world's scariest conspiracy: the city of Chandler, which is in Arizona, home of Senator McCain, is the victim of theft by the Obama campaign. See for yourself!

Official Seal of the City of Chandler, Arizona:


Symbol of Hopey Changey Stuff:


I rest my case.

Halloweenie

Your favorite engineer-in-training celebrated her favorite holiday this past weekend! What a great way to wrap up the stressful month of October.

My company had a huge Halloween party, but I thought it inappropriate to dress up as my Main Costume: Sarah Palin. Instead, since I'm from Ohio, I already had all of the accessories to be a Cowgirl.

Much to my surprise, there were no other cowgirls or cowboys; it's such a popular costume in Ohio; what's the deal? Perhaps your small office party might be a tad awkward, but mingling with hundreds of costumed engineers you've never met certainly takes things to a new level. We had a fortune teller, a haunted "house" (read: haunted lean-to), caricature artists, and a raffle for not one, but FIVE MP3 players. I didn't get an MP3 player, but I got the next best thing - a $5 gift card to Peet's Coffee (Starbucks equivalent).

After work, it was Sarah Palin's time to shine. It's a lot of work to tease hair. I didn't quite get Palin's modest beehive, but it was effective. We started out the night at an Upscale Bowling Alley (300 San Jose), attempted to get into the Agenda Lounge (it was full), and then moved on to my favorite "dive" bar.

The picture with John McCain was a random fellow who approached me on the street. I also encountered many "constituents" who wanted to be photographed with me. Nobody asked for my autograph, however.

As a future note, it is both a bad and a good idea to dress up as a Republican in California. Bad because people were booing me everywhere I went, and good because I didn't have to pay for a single drink all night (except for at the bowling alley).

Donating Blood: ENTER IF YOU DARE!

I was 40 minutes late to my appointment to donate blood yesterday, and hadn't been to this location before, at the Cupertino Center.

"ENTER IF YOU DARE!" read yellow plastic tape stuck to the window. Immediately, I knew that this was where I needed to go to donate my blood. Whoever decorated the Cupertino office of Blood Centers of the Pacific for Halloween had some kind of a sense of humor.

I was disappointed to see no vampiric images splattered on the wall, but the irony of the Dia De Los Muertos theme was clear. Well played, Blood Centers of the Pacific.

I am taking the FE Exam tomorrow in hopes of someday becoming a "real" engineer. I hope that donating blood gives me the good karma I need to pass it :-)

Halloween is my Favorite Holiday

True story. I love the opportunity to dress up in costumes. I'd do it every day, but even though my company does not have a dress code, I'm not sure that that would give a very good impression.

The Joe came to town this past weekend for his fall break, and I was sure to give him the California treatment. This time, we went to see the Golden Gate and it was NOT ridiculously covered in fog. I took him to a few fancy restaurants, we visited Great America with my buddy Andrew, and we went up to Berkeley to visit with the members and pledges of one of our fraternity's newest colonies. Here's my review of some of the weekend's highlights.

The Golden Gate Bridge
The best spot to get an awesome view of the bridge and the San Francisco skyline is from the Battery Spencer at Fort Baker on the northwest point of the bridge. To get to it, you have to go Northbound on the bridge, then go to the next exit, take a U-turn and go toward the bridge, and you'll have to pay a $6 toll to get back to San Francisco, but it's worth it, and much better than parking on the south side of the bridge at that little park where you have to pay $5 to park unless you get one of the 10 or so spots right at the park.. but I digress. Battery Spencer was abandoned in 1943 and not much else has been done to it since then, except for some graffiti covered up by paint covered up by more graffiti, and the parks system put in some "latrines". The nice part about the fact that it's been ignored is that you are free to walk all around and inside the old ammunition storage rooms and barracks. Plus, as I mentioned, you get an awesome view from the top of the hill.

Great America's "Halloween Haunt"
At $39.99 for standard admission and $29.99 for students, that's a pretty good deal for a haunted house. Cedar Point back home in Ohio is owned by the same company, and this was Great America's first year trying the haunted weekend (except, it's called "Halloweekends" at Cedar Point). The decorations were great, and the character costumes were fantastic. The actors used loud noises to effectively startle people - no chainsaws in this park!
There were 5 "mazes" (they weren't really mazes.. there was only one path to go through). The most creative was "Club Blood," which was meant to be a vampire club, complete with sexy vampire "go-go" dancers (read: strippers, but they don't actually take off any clothes... they're just wearing corsets and such). I just know that this was somebody's fantasy, and that's why this was here. "CarnEvil" was awesome because we paid $1 for the paper 3D glasses and it was TRIPPY. We went through it twice because it was so good.
One of the water rides, Logger's Run, which is probably pretty boring otherwise, was turned into a haunted ride called "Camp Gonnagetcha". It was a lot of fun, but poor Andrew took the front of our log and got drenched. Not the best idea for a ride on an October night, even in Cali! Not everybody who got off the ride was as unlucky, however. This isn't a ride that's meant to get you soaking wet... sometimes, it just happens.
There were also 4 "fright zones" but these were basically just walkways that they had actors stand around and jump out at you from the fog.
The lines were ridiculously short on a lot of the rides, and we even caught one several times in a row. We were able to do everything in 4 hours, and it was a great time!

The Pyramid Brewery
This is where we met the Berkeley folks, who were all very cool, by the way. Try the Apricot Weizen!!! The Oregon Honey Beer is a close second.